9/28/2004 07:57:11 AM|||Nathan Moore|||

The duo has returned. We had a great time in Savannah, but are certainly happy to be home.

While watching Monday Night Football last night, an interesting sight was seen. In the midst of the screaming crowd at FedEx Field (where the Redskins play) someone was holding up a Bush / Cheney sign. Good job, to that anonymous GOP Hill staffer who got a chance to watch some football! Wait a minute...that guy looked a little like Karl Rove! It's Republican dirty tricks, planting supporters at football games to get free network face time! Campaign finance reform has been undermined, and the American people won't stand for it. We MUST tell the FEC!

I do admit, that was a lame John Kerry impression, but I think I at least got the tone right. So far, while listening to talk radio and (gasp) NPR on the drive back (smattered with some country), I counted three separate conspiracies that George W. Bush was behind: 1) there is a secret plan to restart the draft after the election 2) there is a secret plan to destroy Wisconsin dairy farmers, also to be revealed after the election, and 3) Republicans planted forged documents at CBS to discredit the network and hurt the Democrats. He's gone from discussing the early 1970s, where there was an American soldier behind every imagined atrocity, to the mid 1970s, where there was a Republican dirty trick destined to destroy every Democrat and evil Republicans existed only to further disempower the underprivileged. To his credit, John Kerry is getting closer to 2004.

Of course, the proof of all these conspiracies couldn't fit in the space left at the top of my very full cup of coffee (I drink it black - no room for cream). Let's think about this everyone. Let us look at the true nature of the Kerry effort, and where it sits along the scale of rational debate at this point in the electoral process.

How far must your campaign be from sanity, when the man at the top of the ticket is alleging secret conspiracies to damage the well-being of Wisconsin dairy farmers. Doubtless there are also secret plans in the works to destroy Iowa corn farmers, incapacitate Pennsylvania steel workers, and throw old women in Florida in front of trains. John Kerry's new strategy is abrewin' - a conspiracy theory for every swing state.

Note, this is no surrogate, 527, or partisan attack dog - this is the man wanting to become POTUS. What gives? Something tells me that this Thursday night is going to be fun.

|||109637731173649862|||We Have Returned