11/06/2004 07:00:15 PM|||Sarah|||

Instead of blaming themselves for a poorly-run campaign and a message (when it could be deciphered) that is out of step with the average American voter, Democrats have blamed their loss in this election on Christians (they say "religious right-wing nutjobs," but the truth is that all Christians are lumped together in their eyes) and the assumption of a related homophobia.

It's cool and sophiscated to be Buddhist (ask Richard Gere or one of the Beastie Boys ... can't remember which one) or Muslim or Hindi. Those religions are exotic and cultured. But, Christians are dumb rednecks who want to tell everyone else how to live their same narrow life!

This mindset of the Left is quite hypocritical, since they are proposing to undertake some missionary work of their own. This work will be to spread humanism and intellectual elitism. One advocate suggested that Democrats go to Nebraska instead of Europe for vacation next year. I can just envision the game plan for that trip ...

Have a seat at the local diner and listen to the people there. Do this with patience and a smile on your face that can't help but portray pity and condescension. Then, explain your points in a slow speech without using too many big words! The small-town farmer will be enlightened and will not be able to understand why national health care and abolition of all guns didn't seem like a good idea before! Can't make it to Nebraska in person? Find a penpal instead! But, again, make sure you use small words. Writing "fonetickly" might help. Before you know it, the religion of humanism will spread throughout the Red States as people line up to get baptized in Pierre or a Starbucks latte (depending on the weather). Help your comrades in this important mission and tithe to the DNC every week!

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