I spent some time debating whether or not I wanted to write anything about 9/11 today.  Part of me wants to share my “where were you” story, but it feels wrong to write about my experience.  It seems silly and small, somehow, compared to the experience of so many others.  On the other hand, it’s important for all of us to remember how we felt and to use those feelings for the betterment and strengthening of our country.  That doesn’t necessarily have to mean supporting the war in Iraq or backing every decision made by President Bush.  It means that we should all remember how precious our country was to us in the days following the attack and find some ways, as individuals and communities, to be better.  Be better … it sounds vague and simplistic, but that is the phrase that keeps ringing in my head.

I am currently watching MSNBC’s replay of its 9/11/01 coverage and I also have CNN’s coverage of that day streaming on my computer.  I still think about those horrible events nearly every day, but watching the day unfold in real time again brings back the feeling of complete chaos.  There were reports of a car bomb at the State Department, a fire on the National Mall and evacuations of tall buildings around the country.  No one knew what was coming next.

I was on my planning period from Howard High School in Maryland and driving to the bank when I heard the news on the radio of the second tower being hit.  When I entered the bank, I looked at the customers and the tellers and wondered if any of them knew what had just happened.  I was screaming on the inside and tears were rolling down my face.  I remember wanting to throw up right there. 

As soon as I got back in my car, I tried repeatedly to reach my sister in Brooklyn.  My parents were eventually able to reach her late that night.  She had watched the first tower collapse from the roof of her apartment building, but had to rush inside several minutes later when it became difficult to breathe.  She spend the night alone in her apartment with newly-duct taped windows and woke up in the morning to see her street covered in gray.

All of the students and teachers at Howard High spent the rest of the day watching news reports.  Every five minutes or so, there would be another call for a student over the intercom.  Many of the parents of our students worked in D.C. — I’m sure as soon as they left work they just wanted to get their kids and go home.

Around this time, the FAA declaraed that all air travel in the United States would be suspended.  We often forget the amazing work of the air traffic controllers that day.  There were thousands of planes that they had to get down safely once air travel was halted.  The magnitude of that charge is overwhelming to imagine and those men and women deserve our praise.

During lunch, I called Nathan because he lived so close to The Pentagon.  He told me that that he awakened that morning to his apartment building shaking.  He thought it was construction, but soon realized he felt the impact of the plane hitting the Pentagon.  For months afterwards, I would drive by the shattered side of the Pentagon every time I went to visit him.  Seeing the lights from the rebuilding efforts and the large American flag hanging from the rooftop filled me with resolve and pride.  That’s not silly jingoism … that’s real.

My roommate went home to be with her family that evening.  Her dad worked at the Pentagon and he had been in the building that morning.  I was alone in my apartment, and I don’t think anyone wanted to be alone that night.  The roads leading to Nathan’s apartment were shut down for most of the day.  Once some routes had reopened, he made the forty minutes drive to my place.  I don’t remember what we said to each other that night, or if we even spoke at all. 

I was holding Catherine this morning as she drifted off for her morning nap.  I kissed her forehead, looked at her sleeping, and thought, “You were born more than four years after 9/11 happened.  You’ll have no idea what it felt like to live through that day.”  Will she have a day like this in her lifetime?  Undoubtedly … and unfortunately … yes.