I am sitting in my living room with a feeling of terror. No, it’s not Friday the 13th or Mike Meyers that is filling my television screen. I am watching the Democratic presidential debate on MSNBC and the idea of any of these people becoming our next president has gripped me with fear. Here are some of the scary highlights:

1. Governor Richardson wants to have universal pensions and keep social security the way it is. I love paying taxes at an enormously high rate and watching my country go bankrupt through bloated federal programs. Sounds like good times to me, Governor. Let’s go for it!

2. Most of the candidates favor a nationwide smoking ban. Bye, bye, federalism. It sure
was nice knowing you. Let’s just erase those silly borders between states and let D.C. control everything we do. Ahhh … just as the founders intended.

3. Universal health care

4. Senator Edwards wants to pass the buck and please everyone by saying that he’s not in favor of gay marriage but he believes his daughter’s generation will make it happen.

5. “I think my husband was a pretty good president.”

6. Senator Gravel is proud of the $85,000 of credit on which he defaulted when he declared personal bankruptcy. He thinks the credit card companies deserve it.

7. All of the candidates are lamenting the fact that young people don’t believe that Social Security will be available for them. That doubt is a good thing! Maybe my generation and those younger than me will take more personal responsibility for their own retirement instead of counting on the government.

8. “The Kucinich administration will ___________” (fill in the blank with anything)

9. Senator Edwards’ father worked in a mill? What? Why hasn’t he shared this before? It makes him just like you and me! (OK … this isn’t really scary, I’m just so danged tired of hearing the “my father was a mill worker” line)

10. I think I rolled my eyes almost as often when watching the last Republican debate. This is all scary.