There was some ill-advised speculation that 30 affiliate Air America (whose former New York flagship station here – they now share air time with Armstrong Williams) talk show host Randi Rhodes, known primarily for having mankind’s third raspiest voice (behind only Neil Diamond and Bonnie Tyler), was attacked by a pack of rabid, vicious conservatives while on a canine-accompanied jog.

My apologies for all the parentheses. I can’t help the commentary – the whole Air America story reads like a Dr. Seuss novelette. Green eggs over medium, please.

In that spirit, excuse my chuckles, and the perceived importance of Randi Rhodes. Some things are more ridiculous, sure – like juggling grizzly bears on unicycles – but seldom do we get to witness such straight-out-of-the-box craziness in written form. Somehow, somewhere, there were some truly unfortunate, tightly wound people actually believing that a Rush Limbaugh listener would have been responsible for the now-defunct attack.

Count me as no fun, but I like my conspiracies to have more in common with Aristotle than Coast to Coast AM. Based on the recent ratings of Air America, logic would have demanded we first accuse a likely candidate for the attack, someone obligated to listen to her, maybe tied to a chair, like a family member. Or it could be a militant cat person. Then we can move on to the real loons who don’t think she is liberal enough. Then, perhaps, we could find a conservative to accuse.

Right now, there is an ongoing debate as to whether the Left or the Right is more hateful. We can argue about that. But there is no debate as to who is most paranoid.